What the fuck happened to us?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO US?
What did you do?
Where the fuck are you?
What have you even been doing?
I MEAN FUCK.
God, oh god, oh god, oh god.
IT’S ALL SO FUCKED.
IT’S FUCKING FUCKED AND YOU FUCKED IT.
WE FUCKED IT.
I FUCKED IT.
What am I supposed to do?
What do I even do anyways?
What do I even feel?
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL.
YOU FAILED ME.
And you were the fucking world to me.
It’s the end of the world.
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO?
The view from my bed.NO ONE WANTS TO HELP ME.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME.
You could’ve fucking tried. You could’ve tried a lot harder than you did. You didn’t even try. I tried. I tried so much. I did everything I could to make you take notice. I’ve did everything I can. I’ve done everything I can.
You could’ve just held me.
They didn’t help me. They didn’t even try. NO ONE TRIES. They drugged me up and chucked me out, I was a waste of time and money, and I’m not worth the time and money. So it’s best not to try.
I’M TRYING.
I’m trying really hard.
Is there any point in trying anymore?
Pour me another, cos I can still see the floor.
That’s all I’ve been doing. What have you been doing?
IF I’M NOT SHITFACED I’M NOT HAPPY.
SOBER IS SHIT. I HATE BEING SOBER.
When you’re sober you can think, when you’re alone and sober things go wrong. Your head goes wrong.
I drink a bottle of vodka every time I go out. And when I’m out I drink everything I can find. And I have so much fun. Then I’m so happy. Surrounded by people in a hazy blur of drunkenness. I drunk either cider or vodka or wine everyday in July.
God I’ve been having so much fun. I’ve been climbing things, and breaking things, and shouting at anyone, and stealing things, and dancing like I’ve never danced before, and taking risks, and breaking into places, and starting fights, and chatting to so many people, and going so many places, and making so many friends, and taking so many drugs, and I don’t care about anything. I can’t stop now.
People have been commenting on how fun and happy I’ve been recently. That’s because I’ve been so fucking wasted.
It's all fucked.
