A Very Traumatic Shopping Trip

I haven't really had much to say these last few days, I find the Citalopram can stifle my "creativity" somewhat, but besides that it's actually really great. It's been causing quite a few problems sleeping (not that I didn't have them anyways) and also made me lost my appetite.

Going Back to Sixth Form

I decided I should start going to school yesterday so went in after my doctors appointment in the morning. I can't quite tell weather that was a mistake or not yet. It was nice to see people and get back to some sort of normality, but I found myself just wanting to be alone and get away from everything. I went to find some of my teachers to catch up on what I missed as I had like 2 hours of frees, whilst most of them were really nice and just gave me some shit and told me what to do, the second teacher I went to see what a total cock about it. Just to tell you a bit about him he's Canadian (not that I have a problem with that) but he's also one of those teachers who loves to abuse their power. He's always been a moody prick, and he holds grudges and sets a stupid amount of pointless work, just because he can. If he's in a bad mood he takes it out on whoever and if you're even a minute late he likes to tell you to leave, after of course shouting at you.

So I went to see him and he went out of his classroom (whom he was making watch that terrible fucking video with Beyonce and Lady Gaga - maybe he thought it was topical and he'd be down with the kids) and started having a go at me in the corridor, in a proper spiteful way. I could feel like tears welling up, cos I'm really fucking sensitive and so afterwars I like paced off and locked myself in the closest teachers bathroom I could find. At that point standing in a toilet crying on my own I really did just want to leave and never come back, so 5 minutes later I left and walked around outside the school grounds looking for somewhere to have a cigarette. But I went back and sat in the common room, I planned on going with some people to the local shops which are about 10 minutes walk away but there was hardly anyone in the common room and they were all too lazy. I went at lunch and picked up my prescription with some people who I wouldn't even count as friends, but whatever. Basically it was a load of shit day, and when I got home I climbed into bed and didn't leave it till about 7.30am this morning; when I decided that I couldn't handle going in today.

A Very Traumatic Trip to Westfield Shopping Centre

Today my mother forced to me accompany her to meet my older sister in Westfield Shopping Centre AKA the biggest shopping centre in Europe. Usually I wouldn't mind but I really fucking didn't feel like going. After the half an hour drive there the second we got there I knew it was a bad idea, I just wanted to go home.

We looked in a perfume shop and the assistant was clearly following me round as if I was going to steal something, which pissed me off. We went to Starbucks, and there was a young woman taking up a 6 person table with her laptop whilst we had to sit on stupidly high stools, which pissed me off. Whilst waiting for my coffee I had to stop myself from crying, just because I couldn't handle being there. The woman behind the till in Starbucks was too busy talking to her friend to hand me our coffees which were sitting in front of her, which really pissed me off. Then she handed me 2/3 coffees and carried on talking and giving other people their coffees, which really pissed me off. All my sister could do was talk about her skin and how shit her boyfriend is, which pissed me off. A girl bashed into me and didn't even bother acknowledging me, which really pissed me off. Then whilst walking she stopped and said she was leaving cos she was so tired, and proceeded to complain to my mum about how shit her boyfriend is for 20 minutes, leaving me standing around, which really pissed me off. Then we went to Uni Qlo and she tried on like 4 pairs of the same jeans in different colours, leaving me standing around on my own, which really pissed me off. Then when we finally decided to leave my mum insisted we leave through the same car park lift we came in, and we spent about 20 minutes walking around looking for it, which really pissed me off. Then there was loads of traffic and I wanted a cigarette, which really pissed me off.

A not so small modern day version of hell - Westfield Shopping Centre.

So this week I have concluded, I am never leaving the house again.